Sunday, October 9, 2011

It's my birthday!

I just have an amazing birthday last week.
Words would not be able to speak how I felt, the only thing I can do is cry. I don't know how to thank all of you. No one will understand how touch I am.

I am a really self critical person. I never thought myself as a worthwhile person. I never expect anything for return, I do it because I feel like doing so. I need no people's thanks. I always thought myself as a very bad person, yet I didn't know what are those bad things. I wish someone could tell me what are those bad things that I've been missing, I wish someone hate me though I'll sad if it really happened. Perhaps, I just want to understand myself more. I might look nice and good, but somehow I know I am not.

Sometimes I just wanna be like Avril Lavigne, get some tattoo on,  grab some cigarette in my mouth and scold people with rude words. She may seems bad to some people, she may looks cool and unapproachable, but she knows she is good girl, it just people cannot see.

I practice myself to be a person that not care about what others think about me, yet I do. I care them to think me as a nice and fine person. I've been tired to be a person that people have no comment about me at all, as like I can be neither existed nor not existed. It's even worst than a nuisance.  

I am not Avril Lavigne after all. I don't want to be someone else either.
Perhaps I expect too much on myself, I never get satisfied with what I've achieved.
But at least I am more than satisfied with what everyone done to me. :)
It may just a small action, and it really means a lot to me.
I've been ages had not get any presents, I almost forgot how much I love to receive present.
It may just a small gift, but it still, means a lot for me.
This is the first time I felt, I didn't received it just for the sake of my birthday,
I appreciate it as much as they value me as a friend.

It's good to have friends. :)
Thank you. *lots of love*

1 comment:

  1. We've got present for you as well just that have not reached your doorstep yet! Hahas!