Friday, December 23, 2011

who are you?

Hey bloggie, long time no see huh?

Blogging seem to me like a place that more of expressing feeling. I am trying to get more readers so I choose the title that able to attract readers and if I am able to get more hit everyday, probably I could get some income. (maybe?) But whatever! Do you know how hard to write something that you are not interested in? It's like a rock star singer who asked to sing sentimental song which have more market value so she can earned more. But, fuck it. Let's face the reality I don't have any reader and just be me.

I do believed that everyone facing the same problem like this, whereby you are not doing what you want and because this is more beneficial to you so you are doing it all the while. Sometimes people said life is a process of looking who you are, but they never clarify it and I missed interpret it. People always searching the real one of themselves, but what real is real? How you know that it is real?  Will you have any sign like LV on your body for you to recognize?

While instead of saying searching, exploring would be a perfect word. Trust me, people are always changing, like every 5 seconds. At every state of our life, we are different. I never ate vege since I was 5 years old, but I love it so much right now. So is that means I finally found myself? Maybe not, maybe when I am 70 in the future I suddenly hate it again, so I shall consider I lost myself? No way.

Life shouldn't be a journey of searching ourselves, but exploring and have fun with it. No matter how worst it gets, as long as it was you so why not just embrace it? That's what I think that makes you truly are.

Actually I am still practising it everyday. I know embracing myself is the best way to be truly happy with who I am. But somehow I just can't stand on how not good enough I am, I will never get satisfy with what I achieved because I know there is lot more people who greater than me. I doubt my personality sometimes, I am afraid of how people look at me and I am also trying to be anyone else. I guess this is how my shadow affect me huh? But I still keeping myself positive, perhaps one day I would stop and embrace everything about me. Or someone can embrace me too. :)

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