Monday, July 2, 2012

Lonely crap.

When there is too much noise in your surrounding, it makes you cannot think properly. It makes me miss those days that I spent in my hostel, in the bus on the way to class, in dinner alone and etc. I like to think about incident that happened, examined people moves, their conversation and expression. It helped me erased the question marks in my head. Because I always believe that behind everyone moves and actions, there is a reason that lies beneath their heart and mind, beyond their conscious. Sometimes they think it is just a habit that they picked up from nowhere, and whereas some of them never thought about why they did it. That's why I like to examine it cause it's very interesting in knowing something that not knowing by the own person. But I couldn't think properly these few days, as much as I wanted to, it always get interrupted.

Perhaps I have get used to live quietly, with the bustling sound surrounded me here, honestly it is making me sick and tired everyday. The fortune teller told me I will have a good fortune that is approaching, perhaps I've been too superstition to believe it was true, but I believe everything happened for a reason, maybe I am just too anxious about the unforeseen future. The anxiousness that couldn't settled inside me, nobody have seen it, nobody knows how eagerly am I wanted to do something significant. I hope that day come quicker.

For once that I doubt the existence of God. I don't think he is exist, he's merely a myth that everyone makes each other believe in. But I feel bad for thinking this way, as I always believe he has a plan for everyone of us, if he did not exist, then I have no longer have faith in believing in why I live this way. The negative thought caving in out of the sudden, though I am not a wholehearted believer but I feel the power wearing off, then I think I better keep my believe and do not doubt cause it feels truthfully awful. Then suddenly I think I understand why people would rather live under lies. It indeed feels much better.

Enough for the crap. I think maybe because I woke up too late these few days, I seriously hate wake up late cause it means I've missed so many hours in one day already. Tomorrow will be a good day! Cheers!

No comments:

Post a Comment