Saturday, December 8, 2012

It's a shame that even I myself do not dare to admit I have a feeling with someone that I shouldn't, but with the ups and downs that he gave to me I am really sure that I'm in definite trouble. I hate this feeling so much that it makes me hate myself, I don't know the reason why I am behaving this way but then I figure it out, perhaps I just hate that I have to rely on someone else for my own happiness. 

For all the course of my life, I am really independent and no one will ever decide anything for me. I couldn't bear on the fact that people helping me to decide who and what I am, you may correct any mistakes that I did but take it or leave it, the decision still mine. Perhaps I never learnt how to love, perhaps I always fall with someone that similar to what he was, perhaps this is what love feel like and what I have to do is just get along with it. But all I want is I don't want to be rely on someone to be happy anymore.

But the fact is, nothing is happier than to love and being loved back. 

And I guess I am not ready to fall yet. 

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