Monday, January 28, 2013

Life is simple

Are you having a hard time on finding things that you love to do?

I always tell people that I am a very difficult person to understand, because at different period of time I always have different things I love. As you can tell on my previous post, I was so into drawing portrait and look at the earlier ones I love taking pictures of everything. I don't deny I am a half-hearted person but that doesn't conclude me as an easily-give-up type person as well. Every now and then you have different goals to focus on and you don't seem ended up good as well if you putting too much focus on different things. By the way I still love taking pictures everywhere and drawing, just that I have different priorities right now.

I have difficult times on finding things I want to do as well, especially during the free time that when I am not working. Of course I know I can do a lot things such as hanging out with friends, take a short trip within the country or go back home and even if I don't want to go out I can find a good recipe online and cook whole day, read the book that I haven't been reading, draw something, clear my laundry or sleep. I can come up with lots of things I can do, but the problem is do I want to do it or not? You know sometimes for a girl like me that free of any obligation I tend to make decision that follow my heart, under situation where it doesn't involve anyone, just me myself. My priority tend to move to other people if it's involved anyone, I am not bragging myself as a sacrifice type of person, I mean you still have to take others' feeling into consideration no matter how and I don't think anyone would be able to bear on anyone that make ignorance on others' voices.

You know sometimes I changed so quick that even I couldn't bear on myself. Sometimes when I decided to have sushi as my dinner but when I stand in front of the stall I can just turn my head around and walk away just because I don't feel like eating sushi anymore. Sometimes when I decided to dye my hair and when I walk past Guardian I didn't turn my body inside because just out of the sudden I don't feel like dying anymore. I feel bad actually, I feel bad of not being able to accomplish what I want to do, somehow I lacked of self-control, especially when I am with myself.  I bet things will definitely be different if there were someone else beside, not that I am pretending myself when I am in front of others but being able to be controlled of myself makes me feel good. And that makes me a good rules follower. :/

Okay, go back to the question. Are you having a hard time on finding things you love to do? Maybe I should ask, do you have things you love to do? What you love to do? Why you love them? I always have a hard time on answering the last question, and it never failed to make me doubt why I love it. I can dwell on it for a very long time because all the reasons I found makes me feel...can't find the proper word. Let me give a simple example, if you can't sing well would you still love singing? Maybe I just can't accept the answer at the end, maybe I am a strong believer of loving without reason.

But then I figure out, life is simple. If you are doing things you love to do, it will always, always makes you feel good and happy.

Why bother to search for why you happy if you can just be happy. Life is simple, a good reminder for myself. :)

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