Sunday, April 14, 2013

My little space.

How I suddenly love blogging so often?

I love this little space here, sometimes it feels like the world is reading you but when you view your stat you know that's not true. (Haha) But I am cool with that, the point of me writing is not getting everyone to read, it's just the little me inside my heart wanted to say something. I don't put my blog in private and I always welcome those that who wants to understand me more, you can start from here. :)

Sometimes I wonder, what is the feeling of totally in love with someone. Would you show everything about yourself to him? Would you scare of him not being able to love you if he had known your weakness? Would you tell him everything you think even though it sounds childish to yourself? I've seen lots of movies, lots of articles, lots of love stories and everything ends differently. Some said you shouldn't tell everything to your men, women are better keep in mysterious and that will keep them curious about you. Some said relationships are best if you can be honest with each other, men love you who you are, if they can't accept the worst part of you and they don't deserved the best either.

Some much version of saying. And I actually do not have any ideas on how to maintain a relationship, maybe I am not gifted in this part. You know you are gifted when you have your own thoughts on something, for example people who talents in cooking, they always know what was the right ingredients to put on to make the food taste better. And for people who are gifted in drawing, they don't usually need to learn, once they put their pen on their hand they know what to do. If you are good in something, you naturally have a thought on it. Obviously I don't have it about love. I failed once when I being too honest to my partner and I am not sure should I in my next ones.

Well I don't really confident in meeting my next ones, cos it's been four years already and I am still by myself. I am cool with that, really, I guess for this point of time what I really need to focus in is how to love my own weakness. I will never able to love anyone if I don't love myself truly. Sometimes I still hate myself if I'm thinking someone in a wrong way. Sometimes when I hate someone I'd hate myself too because that prove that my psychological quality is not strong enough, I couldn't accept people and trust me I always curse people inside my head. That's the moment when I took them for granted and that's not a good thing to do.

I am learning to understand people. I always too focusing on myself. If you read my previous post, it's all about me. About me how to be happy, how to be strong, how to accept myself and never about anyone. I should think about others, too. I have good thought on others but never know how to express it. I guess that would be a good start for me to understand people.

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