Monday, August 26, 2013

Be discovered again.

I am not so sure should I continue to write in this space anymore, part of me wish to have a new beginning of everything but somehow I feel it's a shame to delete everything over here. Every post that I have posted was part of my growing memories, I wish I could continue to document every of my feeling but I guess when people grow into certain age, we tend to keep things to ourselves. Viewing back my old posts make me feel good because I realised that I came in such a long way, blogging is no longer just expressing your feeling anymore but it is a way to keep your growing process documented. We will never know we have grew so much and we would not remember so many things happened in the past by just using our brain memory, unless there are things that able to trigger your feeling back otherwise it will soon be bury deep and forgotten with the course of time.

But as we grow older, we find it getting harder and harder to be honest with our feeling. We have too much consideration needed to take, we have to much impression needed to keep. As we building up our own character when we grow, we've gained so many strength and fighting spirit, and out of the sudden we just forgot when is the last time we feel lost and helpless. Our age doesn't allow us to feel that way anymore, as soon as we have defeated, our instinct just came up straight and tell us that we got to stand up and fight back. And the more I fight back whenever I am being challenged, the more that I felt worthless because I don't know why I am fighting anymore. Isn't life a learning process? Then why did you fight it if you are here to learn? I wonder why too.

So I guess I wanna take off my shield and listen to the critics defenselessly. If we are here to learn, I guess we have to learn helplessness as well. From time to time, it is okay to let yourself crushed and lost because that is when you will be discovered again.

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